Good evening. We are gathered today to honor and remember the children we have lost. However they were taken, we share a pain so great it is hard for others to imagine. We’ve grieved for all the milestones our children never achieved, all the fun we expected them to have, all the gifts we knew they would bring. We’ve grieved for our loss, the hugs we miss, the smiles that brightened our every day, the lessons we wanted to teach, the friend we knew would once be there. Our children give us so much that we don’t even realize until they are no longer here. And it hurts to imagine all that they missed and all that we have lost. This much I know we all share.

Grief is sacred ground and it is something that although we share, we must experience alone. We each have our own relationship to our child and we have our own way of handling our pain, thus even those who have experienced the same kind of loss often feel alone. That is why I think so many people turn to their faith when tragedy strikes. For some there is so much anger that it hardens their heart.

We all share a loss, but we find our own way to carry on. In talking with you all today, I am humbled by your pain and the journey each of you have been forced to take. But I am also inspired by your strength in coming today and in sharing the view that these children must not be forgotten, but honored as the brilliant gifts that they were.

When Samantha was first missing. I ran around our neighborhood screaming her name looking for her. At one point I collapsed in hysterical tears. Suddenly, I heard a stern voice in my head yell “nothing is happening to you — Samantha is the one who is afraid and hurting — get up and help your baby”. Those words, “nothing is happening to you”, have been the greatest blessing in helping me cope with her death. I don’t deny myself grief or pretend not to hurt, but the reality is that nothing actually happened to me. My pain is nothing compared to her experience. My loss is nothing next to hers.

In retrospect I think of how she literally danced through her days on earth, like the little sprite she was. Jumping for joy at the slightest opportunity and fighting against the dying of the light at dusk. I believe she was a gift, as every child is. She was taken so young, yet her gifts continue to come, her lessons continue to teach. Every heart touched by a child has been taught about the glory of our human life and therein lies the hope.

When I look at this beautiful Angel of Hope I see all the children left behind who still have hope. I see the lessons our lost children taught us, the gift of their lives, however brief - how blessed we were to know the love of a child, even if only for a day. Children are born perfect in every way and it is our sacred responsibility to guide them through so that they are capable of experiencing the broadest range of life’s opportunities...so that they may grow to give of themselves and perhaps leave a trace of their brilliance on human history.

Samantha was robbed of the opportunity to experience the accomplishments we knew she would have, but she, like every child gone, has left a legacy in the hearts of those who loved them and as parents we can choose to carry on in their honor.

Ken and I chose to honor Samantha by establishing The Joyful Child Foundation in her memory. Our mission is to unite the nation’s communities in the protection and wonderment of all children. It is rather ambitious, but so was Samantha. She was fearless and bold, loving and compassionate. Samantha loved the creative and performing arts. She was athletic and graceful. We did our best to keep up with her, but her talents and interests were as vast as the world itself. In seeking to ensure that all children are not only protected but nurtured by their community we hope to awaken Samantha’s spirit of joy and courage in children throughout our nation.

We’ve all heard the platitudes about ‘closure’ and ‘moving on’ and we’ve all felt frustrated when people assume that our lives should resume as normal. For my family, we’ve had to create a new normal. To forget Samantha or pretend that life can go on as usual is impossible. Every child is born with a mission in this life and it would be shameful, to let her life and death be without purpose. It would be wrong to run from the pain when hers was so much greater. We honor Samantha by continually searching for the lessons of her life.

When the world doesn’t seem to make sense, I have faith that there are always reasons, that somehow in the grand scheme of things - the millions of years of past and future human history - that each moment, good or bad, contributes in some small way to a master plan.

The new normal for my family allows for happiness because it allows for sorrow. We are free to move forward with our lives because our love and admiration for Samantha is incorporated into our lives in a very tangible way - the Foundation.

I hope that everyone here today has or will find a way to honor your child and share the love you will always have within you. May our wounded hearts open to those around us and heal as we give. May these beautiful children we miss so much inspire our everyday. May our thoughts work through our anger so that our actions fulfill their short life’s purpose. Blessed it be. Be Brave.